


Parallel Lines

by merlins_sister



Series: Beckett/Ryan AU [2]
Category: Castle
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-29
Updated: 2011-10-29
Packaged: 2017-10-25 01:38:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/270301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merlins_sister/pseuds/merlins_sister
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a summer as close friends are Kate and Kevin ready for the return of Castle and Jenny to their lives? Kevin POV, AU Episode 2.1 Sequel to I Can See By The Look In Your Eyes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Parallel Lines

Kevin handed over the money to Esposito, surprised at the way his stomach tightened at the action. It wasn’t losing the money that worried him, more that he should be upset at Castle’s return and Kate’s willingness to work with him again, even if it was for just one case. He liked Castle, and there was no doubting that he had a unique talent in helping them to solve the crimes that came their way. But since their time together earlier that summer he and Kate had changed. It was subtle but it was there, closeness beyond the bond they had previously shared. And the thought that Castle might return and disrupt that sense of intimacy... despite his outward entertainment at the situation, it was something he found difficult to contemplate.

That night had been different to many that they had shared. It had been a whole night for a start. But there had also been a sense of connection which he hadn’t expected when he had gone to find her, as keen to escape his pain at losing Jenny as to help Kate, comfortable in the fact that she would have known that. But the pain they were both trying to escape seemed to open doors to something new for them as they connected in ways neither of them seemed able to verbalise, but could only express in other ways.

The way Kate kissed him goodbye the next morning... she hadn’t done that since they had tried dating; slow, lingering, a physical goodbye to the night before. It was strange to think that they were in a similar situation as that time four years ago when they had first met – he just out of a relationship, she dealing with the fall out of her mother’s murder. He had agreed with her suggestion of protecting their sense of friendship then by not continuing dating, neither of them being in a place where the emotional energy felt right. He had been more than happy with their ‘friendship with benefits’ arrangement at the time. But there had been moments since then, he was willing to admit to himself, when he had wanted to open the door back to something more normal, a chance to have that relationship they both saw glimmers of at the beginning. He was just never completely sure if Kate felt the same, and had never had the courage to find out for certain.

He had seen hints that Kate felt something similar this summer though, sensed it that night they were together. But also in the increased time they had spent together, though never in the physical way again. Movies, pizzas, and Chinese takeout. He would say that he did it just to take care of her in this difficult time, and she did it to remind him that someone liked to spend time with him, valued him. But the intimacy of their discussions about how they were feeling... that felt like more. Not that they ever talked about *their* relationship. But he was able to tell her about the end with Jenny, how he feared he would never have the relationship and family he wanted. She told him about the anger she felt and couldn’t shake, despite her best efforts to let go. They had reassured each other that it would change, that they had to just ride this time out. He would find the right woman; she would either forgive Castle or move on. It just needed time.

But time didn’t seem to be on their side. Not only was Castle back but so was Jenny, her overtures to trying again confusing him in a way he didn’t think was possible. He had really liked Jenny. She was sweet, and gentle, and enjoyed the simple ways of spending time together. She wanted long term, she wanted family. She fitted in so many ways. But her struggle with his job, and what that meant for them, he truly didn’t know if he could do enough to help her with that. And the thought that he might be rejected again... that hurt too much.

But then he also knew he shouldn’t be entertaining ideas that the place Kate and he were in might lead to something more. They had never discussed whether Kate wanted what he wanted, had never got that far. He should go for what had a good chance, try with Jenny who at least wanted the same as him.

He glanced at his phone, the last message on it from Jenny still on there. Looking up he sought out Kate. She was already bickering with Castle, and despite the knowledge that the bond between partners can be as strong as between lovers, his heart sank. He knew he had a lot to offer, but didn’t know if what he could do was what Kate wanted, didn’t think she knew herself. And he would only make himself miserable waiting to find out if the relationship with Castle went the way everyone else seemed to think it should. He had someone who did want him for himself, who was willing to try, who knew what they wanted. That was the path he should be following.

Not waiting to see what happened next he left Kate and Castle to bicker and headed for the peace of the break room. Dialling Jenny’s number he took a deep breath. At her answer he said, “Hey, it’s me. Sorry it’s late but I’ve been thinking...”

**

Kevin shrugged himself into his jacket, glancing anxiously at the time. However hard he tried, getting out of the precinct on time was always a challenge, especially when they were wrapping up a case. But once he had booked the date with Jenny he had been determined to not let anything get in the way; he knew he had to show commitment if he truly wanted it to work.

Grabbing his keys he glanced quickly around his apartment to make sure everything had been turned off. As he headed for the door his phone rang. Grabbing it as he made to lock up, he didn’t glance at the caller ID, merely responding quickly, “Ryan.”

There was a moment’s silence before Kate’s voice came through. “Hey, Kevin.”

He paused in the turning of the lock, hearing the hints of emotion in her voice that she was obviously trying very hard to hide.

“Hey,” he replied. “You okay?”

“Fine,” Kate replied, with the forced bonhomie of someone who was obviously upset. “Was just wondering if you wanted to catch up, grab some food?”

Kevin inwardly groaned. Of all the nights for Kate to take a leap of faith and to openly reach out to him. He ran his hand through his hair as he considered the situation before grabbing at a decision.

Squashing down his desire to go to her he said, “I’m really sorry, but I’ve already got plans.” He paused before finally confessing, “I’ve got a date with Jenny.”

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t know,” Kate replied quickly and Kevin could almost hear her pushing her emotions back under.

“Well, you wouldn’t,” Kevin responded. “I hadn’t had a chance to tell you, and we only arranged it a day or so ago.”

There was silence at the other end before Kate’s voice returned, “I’m glad. You and she should see if you can sort things out.”

The emotions were back in her voice and Kevin didn’t want to think what might have made them return. Giving in to his instinct to want to help her he said, “I can cancel. You don’t sound right.”

“No, Kevin, no,” she said firmly. “You can’t cancel a date with Jenny to spend time with me.”

“I can if I want to help a friend.”

“No.” She was starting to sound stubborn so he tried a different tack.

“Okay, I won’t cancel, but only if you tell me why you sound upset.”

This time the silence was longer, but he knew when to wait. Eventually Kate replied, “He couldn’t leave it alone, Kevin. He had to keep pushing, trying to justify what he had done.” The breath she drew in was ragged. “I just... I don’t know what else to tell him. Why can’t he just respect my wishes?”

“Because he thinks that he can help, make things better,” Kevin replied quietly.

“But he isn’t!” Kate exclaimed, her temper flashing. “He just makes it worse. I just can’t...” Her voice trailed off. “I’m sorry; you have listened to this so many times... I just want to be able to move on from it all.”

Kevin considered his words carefully. He truly did understand what Castle was trying to do, and there was part of him that thought that Kate would never move on fully with her life until she knew the truth. But he also knew he would have never gone against such an important request from her and for that he also felt his own anger at the author.

“You will move on, Kate,” he replied. “It just needs...”

“Time,” she finished for him, a slight laugh.

“Have we been saying that a lot?” he joked.

“Just a bit,” Kate replied, a hint of a smile in her voice.

“Well, that’s because it’s true,” he said. They both fell quiet, Kevin considering his options before continuing, “I know you don’t want me to cancel but I will phone you later.”

“Kevin...”

“Uh, uh... no arguing,” he said firmly. “I will phone and if you are still upset I will be bringing takeout and the DVD of that film you were talking about.”

“You don’t have to.” She sounded like she wanted to fight his decision, still determined to not let anyone help her in such an obvious way.

“I know,” he replied. “But I want to.” He took a deep breath. “I promised you that you were never alone. I keep my promises.”

The smile was more certain in her voice now. “Thank you,” she replied softly. “You are a good man, Kevin Ryan.”

Trying to be, he thought. Trying to be.

**

Kate’s voice was stronger when he phoned a few hours later.

“You sound better,” Kevin commented, sinking down into his couch so he could chat if she needed him to.

“Got the paperwork cleared,” she replied lightly.

“Please don’t tell me you’re still at work,” Kevin challenged, knowing the answer all too well.

“Needed something to focus on,” she replied, no more explanation needed. “And I am just leaving.”

“S’pose I’ll let you off then,” he said with a smile.

There was a pause at the other end of the phone before Kate said, “Castle came back. He apologised. Properly this time. No justifications, no attempts to persuade me about the value of his actions or that I was wrong. Just an apology.”

Kevin surprised himself by needing to take a breath.

“That’s good, right?” he asked after a moment.

“I think he finally got what I’ve been saying,” Kate said, before adding. “I told him that I’d see him tomorrow.”

“Full time?”

“Well, as much as I can stand,” Kate replied, a slight chuckle. She was silent before she asked. “Do you think I’ve made the right decision?”

Kevin could only find one response. “Your partner, your call.”

“Gees, thanks,” she snorted.

“Kate, you’re the one who has to work directly with him. If you think that’s okay then do it.”

A slight chuckle again. “I don’t know about that, though at least the Captain will be happy.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, the only reason I really let Castle in to help us with this last case was the Captain reminding me what the publicity does for us all. He’s put himself out there for me so many times, I felt a bit like I owed him.”

“You only did it because the Captain asked?” Kevin queried again, not sure why that would mean so much.

“Well, technically raised his eyebrows at me, but yeah. I wasn’t ready to deal with Castle again but I suppose it all worked out.”

“Yeah, I suppose it did,” Kevin replied, relaxing at the news.

“So, how did your date with Jenny go?”

Kevin started slightly at the change of topic before replying, “It was good.” He took another deep breath. “We agreed to give dating another go. She’s going to try and be a bit more relaxed about the job stuff, I’m going to try and do more to make her feel involved – phone her in the day, pop in and see her on breaks, that sort of stuff.”

“Sounds like a good plan,” Kate replied softly.

“Still don’t know if it’ll work,” Kevin confessed.

“But you want to try?”

Kevin thought about it before deciding he really didn’t know. For Kate though he said, “Yeah, I want to try.”

“In which case you should.”

The silence that fell this time suddenly felt awkward until Kate braved, “You still on for trying that film though?”

Kevin smiled at the invitation. “Of course I am. Want to try for an evening later this week?”

The awkwardness faded away again.

“That sounds good,” Kate replied. “See you tomorrow and we’ll sort out a day.”

“See you tomorrow.”

“Thanks for phoning,” Kate finished with, her voice warm with her feelings.

“You’re welcome,” Kevin responded as he hung up, closing his eyes as the pleasure from her response washed over him.

Kevin had never imagined becoming a tightrope walker but that was how he felt as he switched his phone off. As he headed towards the bathroom to turn in for the night he couldn’t shake the feeling that he had just taken his first steps down a path that was going to be beyond his ability to balance.


End file.
